BAGHDAD, Iraq --- The polls are closed, and the counting has begun after an unbelievably successful election in Iraq. Initial exit polls show that George Bush has a strong lead over opponents for the leadership role in Iraq. While not officially on the ballot, Bush appears to be a very popular write-in candidate.
"He is the reason we are able to vote today, so I cast my ballot for him," said one excited Iraqi man. "This was a vote against John Kerry and the liberals who hate America and Iraq more than it was a vote for George Bush," said another Iraqi woman exiting the polls.
President Bush said in a statement that he does not think it is appropriate for him to lead both countries and would not accept the position if elected. In response to the news of Bush's projected win, Barbara Boxer cried. Ted Kennedy called the election a sham and a failure before passing out in a gutter. Hillary Clinton asked for a 50% increase in the defense budget and called for an invasion of Iran. And John Kerry insisted that everyone stop over-hyping freedom and democracy, the fall of the Berlin wall, and the liberation of Afghanistan.
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