NEW YORK, New York --- FOX announced today that it is having a special Celebrity Boxing show with the main event featuring Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather. The recent attack by Cronkite on the retiring Rather prompted the producers of Celebrity Boxing to contact the retired newsmen and set up the fight.
"There's a lot of piss and vinegar in these old boys," said Marla Kroger, a producer for the show. "Cronkite actually offered to do the show for free. And he asked if we'd be willing to do a bare knuckle fight instead. I'm not quite sure what Rather did to Walter, but we might have to do a full cavity search before the fight to make sure he doesn't bring anything illegal into the ring."
San Francisco Mayor, Gavin Newsom, and Reverend Jerry Falwell are tentatively scheduled on the undercard. "While the undercard might at first seem like an unfair fight, Newsom fights like a girl," said Kroger. Dan Rather has requested that he be kept in the witness protection program prior to the fight to keep safe from Cronkite.
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