SAN FRANCISCO, California --- Terri Schiavo's parents filed in San Francisco to marry their daughter today and save her from starvation. While Terri's husband (who is currently living with his "fiance" and their two children) has removed her feeding tube, Terri's family is fighting unsuccessfully to keep her alive. They believe this might be a way for them to win.
"We're counting on Gavin Newsom to save us," said Robert Shindler, Terri's father. "He redefined marriage for same-sex couples because he believed it was a violation of human rights to deny them, so we're confident he'll see it's a violation of our rights not to allow blood relatives to marry one another as well. This will give us equal legal ground to Terri's husband and keep her alive."
Gavin Newsom was busy planning his honeymoon with Supervisor Chris Daly and was unavailable for comment. One of his assistants said she was unsure if the mayor would allow the marriage. "He's only in favor of redefining marriage for same-sex couples," said the assistant. "I'm not sure how he'd feel about this situation. Although if only Terri's mother wanted to marry her, it might make a difference."
Absolutely fantastic article! Hilarious.
Posted by: | March 25, 2005 at 08:03 PM