WASHINGTON, DC --- The national simultaneous yawning record was broken today when the media stampeded to report on the unveiling of "Deep Throat" from the Watergate investigation. The record surpassed the previous mark set in 2000 when Al Gore was nominated by the Democrats to run for president. The world record for a simultaneous yawn took place over a year ago on the day that liberal radio network Air America launched.
"It was uncontrollable," said Terri Kloth of New Hampshire. "After seeing the story splashed across the front pages of every major newspaper, seeing it on every television channel, and hearing it all over the radio, I just couldn't hold back the yawn. I really tried though."
Initial studies show that only infants, federal politicians, hippies and people working in the media did not yawn. Grassroots organizations have already begun to form in order to protest if the media continues to be obsessed over the discovery.