AL QAQQA, Iraq --- The earth-shattering story published by the New York Times a week before the 2004 Presidential election about the tons of missing explosives at Al Qaqqa has still not been found since the election. The New York Times defended the timing of the news release, claiming it was of such an important nature that it could not wait until after the election. Since then, the story has gone missing, and the world is worried about the story of the missing explosives. In order to find this missing story, The New York Times announced it is hiring OJ Simpson to search for the story.
"OJ is an expert at investigating from his days spent looking for his wife's killer," said a spokesperson for the Times. "The world is worried about this incredibly important story, and we're determined to find it again. A lot of people thought our timing of the story was suspicious, since it was right before the election and made the illegitimately elected president look bad. But that's not the case at all. This story is one of the most important events of our time and had to be put on the front page immediately. This story must be found again, and we know OJ is just the man to find it."