NEW YORK, New York --- After the Pentagon was caught paying for positive news coverage in Iraq, sources uncovered the shocking news that Al Qaeda has been paying for positive stories in American media sources such as CBS/NBC/ABC/CNN/MSNBC News, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the San Francisco Chronicle. While many felt this helps explain why no one reports on the amazing positive stories that come out of Iraq, others were surprised that Al Qaeda was wasting their money paying for something they could get for free.
"So what if they paid us for positive coverage," said a representative from the New York Times. "We would have reported that way anyway, so they didn't influence our spin on anything. It would be discrimination for us to turn them down. This is like advertising for them. But I'd spit on the Pentagon's money. A government should never pay for positive press coverage. Especially a lying and evil government like the one we have now."
Despite the money for positive coverage, the mainstream media outlets continued to lose viewers and readers to other sources. Sources say they might consider taking money from Democrats for positive coverage in news stories or to bash Republicans, but they doubt any news coverage would change.
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