IRAN --- Now that Iran has been referred to the United Nations for its failure to give up its nuclear ambitions, the leaders in Iran announced that they will surrender to the United Nations and give up all nuclear ambitions out of fear for their safety.
"I didn't think the world community would go this far," said a visibly shaken President Ahmadinejad. "If there are two words that strike fear into the heart of anyone, they are 'United Nations'. Half of our leaders actually wet themselves upon hearing the news that we had been referred to the UN. I want to quickly make it clear that we have given up all nuclear ambitions and will fully cooperate with the UN. Just please, please don't hurt us. We will do whatever it takes to make the UN happy. We know they mean business, and we are very, very afraid."