SACRAMENTO, California --- The California Senate Committee approved a bill that will require school textbooks to contain the achievements of gays, lesbians and transgenders for children in public schools. The next bill on their agenda will also require that the achievements of prostitutes, exotic dancers and illicit drug users also be added.
"These are important issues for our children," said one senator. "Our goal is to make sure that anyone in our society who is marginalized be included in our children's textbooks. It doesn't matter if the achievements are relevant historically. It's more important that our children learn how to feel about sexuality and drugs from the government. Parents are simply not equipped to educate their children on these subjects. Any achievements, no matter how minor, by gay illicit drug using prostitutes would take priority over lesser figures like the Founding Fathers."