MIDDLE EAST --- Al Qaeda leaders announced today that they will alter their torture policies now that US Senators rejected the Bush interrogation bill.
"These senators are correct," said one al Qaeda operative. "Having aggressive interrogation techniques only makes American soldiers less safe. When they follow the Geneva Convention even for unconventional terrorists who don't recognize it, this will make terrorists think twice. Just like it did in Vietnam. We have now decided to ban torture and beheading. It is wrong. We respect that the United States will no longer make us lose sleep when questioning us, and we will now ban all torture. This is a great day for peace and respect among men."