WASHINGTON, DC --- Wolf Blitzer filed assault charges against Lynn Cheney today after the Vice President's wife beat him up during a surprise attack he tried to spring on her at a CNN interview.
"I'm beaten and bruised," said a visibly shaken Blitzer. "That's the last time I challenge a guest with Democrat talking points. Okay, it's not. But I'm going to be much more careful in the future. I'm going to sue her as well. I'm having nightmares about that confrontation. I'm scared to leave my house."