Democrats Would Redploy Troops to Fight Global Warming

WASHINGTON, DC --- As debate begins today about Iraq, the Democrats unleashed a surprise change in policy for the use of US military.  They would like to redeploy the military to fight global warming instead of terrorism.

"The time has come to use our military muscle to fight the real enemy," said Senator Hillary Clinton.  "Global warming is the key to saving life on this planet.  What does it matter if we defeat terrorists when we'll all be dead in five years from global warming?  Want to win the war in Iraq?  Win the war against global warming.  Our plan will pull troops out of Iraq immediately and begin attacking global warming all over the planet.  We have the best trained personnel anywhere, and I know they can defeat global warming.  Even the terrorists can't hate us once we finish off this common enemy.  Fighting terrorists in Iraq doesn't make us any safer.  Fighting global warming does."

President Bush responded to the announcement.  "Hey, I've given in to the global warming zealots," said Bush.  "That's why our troops are in Iraq.  This is where global warming is at its peak.  Heck, they got summer temperatures that make Texas look like a glass of iced tea.  We're in Iraq, because that's where the global warming is.  If we fight it there, then maybe we won't have to fight it at home."

John Kerry had one comment during a press conference: "John Kerry, global warming warrior, reporting for duty." 

Comments

[Chris_C]

There is truth in what you post. The same day Nancy Pelosi says she wants to spend millions on global warming research, she said she needs millions to paypack southern California orange farmers who lost crops to freezing temps...

The planet Mars can not stay warm because of the high CO2 levels found there...

[Euphoria of the Left]

I was so inspired by this piece that I decided to write a joke draft of a proposal for the NationStates UN based on it urging the NSUN to declare war on global warming. I wouldn't be suprised if it actually made it to vote. Keep up the good work.