THE DEATH STAR --- Barak Obama made the shocking announcement that he is changing his name to Obama-Wan Kenobi now that Karl Rove has left the White House. He claims to have felt a disturbance in "the force" when Rove left.
"I don't know how to explain it," said Obama-Wan. "I just like felt a disturbance or something in the Force. My wife thinks it was just the chili dog I had for lunch, but I believe it was much, much more. It happened the moment I heard that Karl Rove had resigned. I just felt an enormous disturbance in the Force, and I puked all over my shoes. I think this means I'm Jedi Knight. To have felt such a profound impact by Darth Rove leaving could only be explained by my Jedi roots. With my new Jedi powers, I plan to use Jedi mind tricks to stop the war in Iraq. I will use the Force to create more social programs than stars in the sky. I will use the Chewbacca Defense if anyone ever accuses me of wrongdoing. In fact, Hairy Reed can be the new Chewbacca. Hillary can be Princess Leia. And Ted Kennedy can be Jabba the Hut. This is going to be awesome. I am the new Jedi ruler of the world. Unless it really was just a bad chili dog. But I'm pretty sure it was the Force."