WASHINGTON DC --- After The Hill listed Nancy Pelosi #4 on its 50 most beautiful people on Capitol Hill, a federal investigation was launched over the writer's allegations that Pelosi threatened to turn her into a newt if she did not make the list.
"She pointed her bony finger at me and said she would absolutely turn me into a newt if I did not put her towards the top of the list," said Betsy Rothstein. "When I asked if she meant Newt Gingrich, Nancy hissed at me and that's when I knew she wasn't kidding. That witch scares me. A lot. I never would have said a word about this, but apparently the only person who believed putting her on a list like this wasn't a hoax is some blind elderly man in Peoria, Illinois, who has dementia. I will be put in a witness protection program and have asked for protection spells from a good witch to keep me safe."
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