IOWA --- Struggling to explain a recent third-place finish in the Iowa caucus, Hillary Clinton finally had the answers. Global Warming and Dick Cheney.
"Say what you will, but my sources tell me that Bush's promotion of global warming and threats by the evil Dick Cheney killed my chances in Iowa," said a tired-looking Clinton. "Global warming, created and promoted by George Bush, created an abundance of CO2 in Iowa that impacted the ability of my supporters to understand the caucus process and support me. Then I found out that Dick Cheney threatened people with his shotgun if they left their houses to caucus for me. There is nothing, I mean nothing, that the Bush Administration won't do to keep me down. There can be no other explanation for my third place finish."