WASHINGTON, DC --- Often criticized for being long on rhetoric and short on policy, Barack Hussein Obama finally released a detailed plan outlining his policies if he were elected president.
"No one can say I am shallow and running on a campaign slogan," said Obama. "I have now outlined plans for all of the key areas that a president will need to address as he faces the world."
Obama's detailed plans are as follow:
Healthcare: I will formulate a policy that brings hope and belief to the uninsured. We're going to make a change that will allow the poor to believe in hope and have hope for a believable future. This believable hopeful future will be a change from today and from the past and focus on the future. And it will happen by only taking money from the very wealthiest in our society who should contribute more. Those making over $75,000 per year.
Defense: We would not have any enemies if not for their lack of hope. My defense plan would create a change for a hopeful future for these so-called terrorists. We will cut back our military and create a future filled with hope and belief for these poor souls who are only enemies of America because we stole their hopes and dreams of a hopeful future and change.
Economy: Our economy is in shambles because there is a lack of hope. I am going to change the direction of the economy to put hope back into the economic future. Specifically, I will change the future hopeful direction of the economy that people can believe in again. That hopeful believe in a hopeful future will be gained by taxing the super-wealthy people making over $75,000 per year. This change will create hope and change in a believable future.
"Some of you might say these plans of mine are too hopeful and require too many changes," continued Obama. "But it's all spelled out right there in writing in great hopeful detail. Can we do it? Yes, we can."
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