Jerhad!com

Hillary Wins Big in California, Proving Californians are Racist

CALIFORNIA --- After Chris Matthews accused the voters of New Hampshire for being racists after Obama finished much further behind than polls indicated, California is suffering the same treatment after similar results.

"Me thinks paleface racists speak with forked tongue again in California," said Chris Matthews.  "California is known for being a racist and closed-minded state.  Clearly the numbers reflect the same thing that happened in New Hampshire.  All of these white folks said they would vote for Obama, and their racist tendencies caused them to vote Hillary instead.  I tell you, this is just one big racist country.  Because let's be honest.  Polls are never wrong.  They're just never wrong.  Unless racists lie."

Hillary Lends Campaign $5 Million, Considered Subprime Loaned

NEW YORK, New York --- Hillary Clinton lent her campaign $5 million to cover costs for the primaries.  Now she is caught up in the subprime mess hitting the stock market.

"We're writing down the value of the loan," said Clinton.  "We are also considering investments from China and Saudi Arabian companies to boost our financial liquidity.  There was a campaign bubble, and now the value of our campaign has dropped to a point that we are unsure if I can be repaid.  This is the Bush economy.  What can I tell you?"