An Eli Lilly spokesman announced today that they are furiously attempting to gear up for a massive increase in Prozac manufacturing if John McCain wins the presidential election. They are unsure if they can meet the demand should the unthinkable occur, and comparisons to the Katrina disaster are being floated by some.
"We are not going to allow this to be a disaster on the scale of the government response to Katrina," said Phil Pauper of Eli Lilly. "We are ramping up production by 1 million pills each day, and that should cover the city of San Francisco's needs by the end of September. It is up to the state governments to supply enough grief counselors and distribution sites for our medication. We'll do our part, but we can't control the other factors. These people are going to lose it if Obama doesn't win the election. They will need to cling to their Prozac and Priuses to cope with the perceived redneck stupidity of racist country bumpkins who lack their inate understanding of politics and voted for John McCain. We are very concerned, but we're doing our part to help."
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